Thoughts of Kai
by evil-tala
Summary: A cute slightly Yaoi/Agnst story from Kai's POV about the way he feels for Rei.. HeY!! 2 MoRe ChApTeRs ArE uP~!!! thoughts of rei and re-enter thoughts of kai!!! R&R~!!!!!
1. Default Chapter

Okay, over the summer holidays I was bored so I wrote some fanfiction, this is one of them. Nothing happens 'Yaoi-wise' but there is a Yaoi theme involved in this, the entire point is that Kai is trying to get away from the abbey so he can tell Rei that he likes him. All from Kai's point of view, i'd say slightly ever so OOC too though. I do not own BeyBlade. Although I wish I did...  
  
Again. I am stuck in this Abbey, the place I was born, the place I grew up. Now that I have the Black Dranzer, I will never lose again. I will seek revenge upon those who have defeated me in my life.  
  
If I think about it, the Black Dranzer was the only thing I had ever desired . . . . Until I was told to join the BladeBreakers, and I saw him. His dark, ankle length hair, his amber eyes, the one named Rei.  
  
I have watched him since that day, memorizing every detail of him. The way he smiles, frowns, the way he walks, and talks, and the way he BeyBlades . . . . Deep inside, my heart does not desire the power my brain does.  
  
The power of the Black Dranzer was drawn to my mind, but my heart oushed it away, it desires more than power. I do not like to admit it, and if anyone finds out how i desire Rei, I will have to kill myself . . . . Not that i would, then I would be leaving him alone in this crule world.  
  
I would feel pain in death, as before, I had no emotion, and did not care for anything, so there was nothing to kill.  
  
I have been training since Boris tricked me into returning, but the only thing driving me is visions of Rei. I live to be with him, I want to hold him like the cat he so resembles. I need him the way living people need air.  
  
But instead, I am stuck in this Abbey, and I have finally found peace and silence in a place I will never be found. I am in the room I slept in as a child.  
  
I do not remember it, yet I know that it was my room because all of the emotionless markings on the floor and walls. They are the only thing I can remember. I drew one with my attack ring each time I was hurt in any way.  
  
I have quitely added another one. It is a basic cat. As I look at them, I think how much I was hurt, and how much I was alone in here, doing exactly as I am now, sitting on the floor, leaning against the door, so no one can come in, scratching the smooth surface of the groundwith the sharpest part of my BeyBlade.  
  
I hear footsteps outside, and hope that no one will find me. No matter how much I desire Rei, I will have to leave the Demolition Boy's first. I'm sorry, Rei. I will leave Boris, and find a way to be with you.  
  
That damn Tala is outside the door, but he will never find me, because this room had been locked up since I left six years ago. I'd better go, or else he will tell Boris that I'm missing.  
  
I take one last look around the room. It reminds me of Rei. Silent, but sunlight streams through rips in the curtains. Simple, but gives a strong first impression. "I hope you fel the same way, Rei." I mutter, leaving the room with a carving of my emotion just inside the door.  
  
~Owari~ (^0^)/ Did you like it?! please R&R! 


	2. Thoughts of Rei

Hudson soft/takara, beyblade project TV Tokyo. Ok, I'm gonna try to write Rei's POV.   
  
How could he do this to me - I mean, to the team? He left, Kai left me - I mean, the team. Why do I keep thinking he left me? He left the team, not me, he left us all to go and join the Demolition Boys. He doesn't care about me - there I go again. If Kai was hearing this, he'd probably say something like, 'always about YOU isn't it?' God, I love the way he's so sarcastic about most things, but then when it comes to Beyblading, he's so.....I don't know..... open about how much he hates loosing, I mean, everyone does, but he's just so different..........  
  
He seems so cold, but I'll be willing to bet that somewhere, no matter how deep inside him, that there's some form of kindness inside him - wait a minute....Kai is Kai, and nothing has changed that before.........But why do I get this feeling that something will? Is it because I......no, I can't. It's not right, it can't be.....oh, god. This isn't happening to me. Why? God, I feel like such an idiot, how could I have let myself fall for him? He's so cold, he'll never like me, no, why me?   
  
Oh no, this can't happen here. I can't start to cry in front of the others. I have to get out of here.....I don't know where to but just away. I know. I'll go to the place down by the river, just for a walk. Nothing special, no emotion is able to show out there, just how cold you feel since it's below -30 degrees.   
  
No, here I go again. I came down here to get away from my thoughts, away from my thoughts of Kai. But stupid me has just kept walking and I've ended up near the only place I never thought Kai would go. The Abbey.   
  
It seems just so perfect for him. It's cold and hard, and the security is so strong that you'd have to be a super sleuth just to even make it past the doors. Like Kai. He never talks to anyone...he seems to hate us all, but for some reason, I can't help but want to comfort him, I think that's all he needs. Judging from what I know, which isn't much, it seems like he didn't have an easy life growing up in this place.   
  
Oh, no. Why is he outside at this time of day? I thought he was training. Maybe he comes outside, into the cold and bitter weather. He must feel right at home..........  
  
Don't look up, just concentrate on your Blading Kai. Don't look up and see me, please don't. He looks almost perfect....I mean, he's standing alone, but he seems so focused, like nothing can move him, he looks like he feels. Alone, cold, bitter, and sort of upset at himself.   
  
I wish he would just stop being like that. If he got rid of the look on his face, I'm sure he would look a lot more like he should instead of the way he was brought up to think he should.   
  
Oh, no. He saw me, what do I do? I'm confused, Kai. When you were around, I always had some sort of feeling that *I* knew what I was doing since you were there, but now, all the others are worried. They think that I'm sick. Kenny told me just this morning that I seemed even paler than usual. I can feel it. Kai, I need you there for me. I need you, you make me feel safe, and that I know who I am. Without you, I'm just on autopilot. I eat, sleep, and train. I go through the day automatically. I don't need anything else.   
  
You are the one that showed me almost all the things I've recently learnt about BeyBlading. I watch you all the time, I make sure that I know where you are, always relying on the fact that you're there.   
  
But now, you're gone. I watched as you just walked away from me, leaving me alone in a strange place.   
  
God, I love you, I just want to tell you. I feel so stupid that I didn't earlier. Now, you'll never know.....I'm so sorry Kai. I'm a coward. I was scared about how you'd react if I told you, but now, watching you train by yourself in the cold wind is breaking me. I'm sorry Kai, I can't watch you anymore. I have to go get myself away from this emptiness I feel building up inside me.   
  
No, I feel a tear on my cheek, this can't be right. Why am I crying for you? I love you, Kai. I know I do. I love you so much, and that's why I feel like this. I'm going back, I know you'll never see me again, most likely, and you'll never even think about loving me. I'm sorry.   
  
Owari..........for now.   
  
Thanks to all the people that asked me to write another chapter to 'thoughts of kai' so this is it. As soon as I can, I'll write more to this, explaining a twist that...well, you all know is coming. ^_^; *sigh* Well, considering this is a Kai/Rei fic, they gotta end up together don't they?   
  
Ja!   
  
Oh, and thanks to everyone that reviewed. I was surprised to find out I actually had reviews after only a few days! 


	3. Reenter kai's thoughts

Hudson soft/takara, beyblade project TV Tokyo.   
  
Ok, more to it. Since the last chapter was Rei's thoughts, it's back to Kai!   
  
I know who I just saw. I saw him. I know it. Why do I care? Why is he staring? Just get on with training, and stop thinking about him. But, he's so, I don't know. Look at him. He's standing there, all alone and he looks scared and upset about something. Oh, no. It can't be, can it? Does he? I know I thought about him, and I know that I love him, I understand that now. But does he really love me? Only one way to find out.   
  
A tear, he must! I saw it fall down his cheek, I just hope I haven't hurt him by not saying anything. I know from watching him earlier on that he's so full of emotion. He lives off it. If anything happened to upset him enough, I'm sure he'd probably collapse. He's so sensitive, just one of his many characteristics.   
  
Walking over to him, it looks like he thinks I've gone inside. But I haven't. I can't hurt him anymore. I've seen it in his eyes just now. I'm fairly sure that he cares about me, I can see it. He lets everything show. His fear, his anger and his deepest feelings. You just have to know what to look for.   
  
Great, all he can probably see in my eyes is some cold-hearted bastard that hates everything. Great image of yourself Kai.   
  
He's started walking away, he hasn't noticed me. I put a hand on his shoulder and spin him around so he's facing me. I hear him gasp, like he's shocked, I know he is. It was sort of like it could hardly believe that I was here.   
  
I put an arm around his waist and lean down to kiss him. I feel him jump in surprise, but he doesn't move. He just lets me. I can feel him trembling, not knowing weather it's from the kiss or the cold, but I don't care. I don't even care if I'm making a fool of myself. I've wanted to do this for so long now, and I'm not going to let it just slip away.   
  
His lips are cold, he must have been outside for over an hour. But I feel like by kissing him, I'm passing some warmth to him. I hope he doesn't mind. I'm starting to feel a bit light headed, I need air. So does Rei, I can tell. I pull away, but tighten my grip around his waist.   
  
"Rei, I'm sorry." I mumble.   
  
He reaches up and holds my cheek in his hand. It's freezing.   
  
"No, Kai. I'm sorry for standing there and watching you."   
  
I take his hand away from my cheek and hold it tightly in mine, trying to warm him up.   
  
"How long were you there?"   
  
"I don't know. Kai, I don't know what that was for, but - "   
  
I silence him by placing a finger on his lips.   
  
"No, Rei. I have to say this, it's been bugging me for so long. I love you Rei. And I have for a long time. I just couldn't bring myself to tell you."   
  
He collapses into my arms. I can feel, more than hear him sobbing. He grips my shirt tightly, and I almost expect him to pass out. But he stands there, gripping onto me.   
  
"Kai......I love you too, but I - I thought that you didn't care about me."  
  
I stroke his hair, comforting him. But I know what I have to do now. I have to go with him, but I have to get away from this place first.   
  
"Rei, stay here, and I'll be back in a few minutes, I promise. Ok?"   
  
"No, don't leave me......."   
  
"Just for five minutes, tops."   
  
I feel him slowly letting go of my shirt, and he slides away, looking slightly pink in the cheeks. I kiss his forehead before turning away and heading back to the Abbey.   
  
I grab my few belongings, leaving the black Dranzer's damage all around the control room. I run out of there, hoping never to see it again.   
  
I run back to Rei, and he looks startled that I'm back so soon. Well, this was the only promise I ever kept, so I guess he has the right to be surprised.   
  
I run right back to him, and kiss him lightly.   
  
"I told you so." I say, still so close to his face that he looks out of focus. I move back a bit and take a good look at him. He's standing there still in shock. His eyes are shining, and his cheeks are starting to turn pink. Then I see him lurch forward and attach himself to my shirt.   
  
"Kai, I - "   
  
I cut him off in mid sentence. I know what he's about to say, but I have to say it first.   
  
"I'm so sorry that I must have made you feel so bad. I was overpowered by the black Dranzer, but I saw you and I realized that YOU were the only thing I wanted, I guess that I knew it, but I didn't want to admit it to myself, but I don't care anymore. I know that I must have hurt you more than once, but I love you Rei, you have to forgive me." I say, and I wrap my arms around him tightly, holding him, the only thing I've wanted for so long has happened. I can't leave him, I have to take him now or never.   
  
"Kai, I love you, and I don't care about what you have done, I just care if you do anything now, that you have enough heart to apologize to the one you hurt."   
  
"Of course." I whisper, and then I take one arm from around him and start walking back to the hotel.   
  
Back at the hotel, the others seemed too excited that I'm back. I guess that I was a member of this team, I mustn't have felt it because I couldn't admit to myself that I love Rei so much. But looking at him now, asleep, resting his head on my lap, I can't realize why I didn't see it before. He's just so......perfect. His skin is so pale, and his eyes are the brightest shade of gold.   
  
I guess I only saw the side of him that he shows to the others. I mean, I know I have more than one side, and I guess Rei does as well. He's a lot more sensitive than he lets on, and if I'd known that earlier, I would have told him sooner. But I feel like such an idiot for waiting so long. Oh well. We both know now, and that's all that matters.   
  
I lean down and softly kiss his head. He stirs, but doesn't wake. I need rest. I know that I have to start training the Bladebreakers for the world finals. That'll be a hard job. God, I love him. It's seems like years ago that I left. Now, I don't know why I did. I love him too much.   
  
Rei, I'm so sorry that I left you, I'll make it up to you somehow. I'm not exactly sure how yet, but I will, and I'll make sure that you don't get hurt by anyone. I promise that I'll always be there for you................  
  
Owari!   
  
So......what did ya think? I'm pretty sure there's only going to be one more chapter of this story, and it should be almost the same as this one, but from Rei's POV. I'm sorry that it's taking me a while to get these up, but I have so many assignments to do, and I'm starting to get heaps of homework, so I have to wait until I have time to write these things........  
  
It doesn't help that I'm not all that fast at typing.....ehehe...*sweatdrop*   
  
Oh, sorry if this isn't exactly how the bit where Kai leaves the Abbey goes, but I haven't seen that bit for ages, but I do remember that the whole, running back to and kissing Rei bit wasn't in it......so, I do know that he was pulled from the ice in lake Baikal (uh, sorry if I spelt that wrong!), but it just didn't fit with MY way of telling it, ok? So what? Isn't that the point of fan fiction? To make the thing you want to see happen? Not just re-tell the story? 


End file.
